Birthday, Beach, and Babies

okay, so that is alot of B's! Sorry I haven't posted in a while, but life has been a bit crazy..First, last week was my birthday and it sucked...twenty-nine is not such a big birthday, but it did make me feel like there is so much more in my life that I want to do. I also felt a bit overwhelmed by the recent sadness, guess birthdays aren't always happy.
Then we went to the beach for four days..that was awesome! I love the beach...the ocean is so calming and beautiful. We spent alot of time swimming, did some boogie boarding and Ethan and I went parasailing! We were 800 feet in the air and it was amazing...we actually saw sting rays swimming in the water! Next time we want to rent waverunners and race around in the ocean. The kids had a great time playing together and really seemed to enjoy being with all the family. We came home early for Ima's surgery and thank G-d it went well. Hopefully life will start returning to normal now:)
Finally, we met with the doctor today about the baby stuff...he gave us the go ahead to try again, but I feel so conflicted. He explained that it is possible that all the embryos may not thaw and that we may actually have less chances than we think. That is scary..I am not ready for all of this to be done. Being in his office really made me relive the incredibly long journey we have been on. I want this so much and it is so scary that we have to face the facts that it may not happen they way we want. I know all the advice about putting it in G-d's hands, but that can be hard to do...I guess I just have to have more forza e spera!