so, it has been months since I have written- but I told a friend that I would start trying (thanks J!)...lots has changed and nothing has changed...So, in no particular order:
School- I figured out that I will be finished coursework at the end of the summer...on the one hand it is relieving, on the other scary as all hell...that means dissertation is around the corner...It also means this semester, which starts tomorrow is really crazy..I am part of a research team and doing some intense research, I am also taking 3 classes! one of which is stats! yuck!
D- he is doing well, although his hair is a bit out of control:) He is loving school and we have his parent/teacher conference this week...wonder if he will fail potty again :) I also volunteered (with all my spare time) to organize the book fair for his school...this is the working mother's guilt catching up with me especially because the last thing I have time for is making these little fliers and running around to get book lists. Still, it is nice to be a part of something that is for him, at least indirectly..makes me feel more involved...a could do a whole posting about working mother's guilt...
Family- Co is doing better in shool after the big suspension and D continues to do well at work - things are a bit tense around the house with the constant television watching ad video game playing..at least football only has one more week. Ca is really loving college and went back two days ago after being home all month. She actually called college her "home"...dagger to my heart :( Still, I know that it is good that she enjoys it, is doing so well and really finding her own..I just miss her so much more than I expected I would
E- well, we finally started the big MC...I think he is really appreciating it whereas it is painful as all hell to me...I see this being the center of many more blog entries..overall, I think we are doing okay, but mostly because his effort is keeping me from blowing up..I just think that he doesn't understand how hurt I am ...I know this is going to be a fruitful road, but I think it is going to suck more than I expected...(seems like a theme, my not expecting the right thing)
Fertility issues- so, at this point we have officially stopped...for those not in the "know" our second attempt failed and so although we have 3 embryos, we do not have a carrier...and truthfully I do not know how I feel about all that.... on the one hand, I know that our family is not complete, on the other hand, I recognize that I may not have a choice about it being complete...I am also not sure how many more failed attempts I can go through..the miscarriage over the summer really threw me for a loop...it doesn't help that my critical friends are both pregnant..maybe there is no karma...maybe there is something about me???? okay, no feeling sorry for myself (that is my self-imposed rule)....still, I HATE the confusion...I just want someone to tell me to keep trying or stop...however, we all know that is NOT how it works
Work- Have I mentioned that I really LOVE my job...things here are going well..this week is one year in the office! Hooray!...lots of conferences coming up and I just got a paper accepted at the Harvard Graduate Student Conference...Yay Boston!
Done- so besides all of the above I am still trying to work out (Thank you A!) and am still president of the Graduate Student Association, planning our own grad student conference, and trying to stay sane...not to mention that our house has NOT sold...ouch..so now we have to make another round of decisions about that....yuck...can't we have any smooth rides? not free, just smooth?